My name is Melissa and I am looking for an intern. I am an artist, living in NY, and I will impart my great wisdom in exchange for a few tasks. This is an unpaid internship, but you will be rich with street smarts, money can’t buy you that.

You will learn:
• How to maximize your space (should you ever need to live in a closet or hallway as an artist).
• The many uses of a plastic grocery sack.
• How to prepare a proper toiletry/emergency kit
• The proper amount of time to steep a coffee tea bag (yes, they make those, now).
• How to use the term "My schedule is so crazy!" to get you in and out of jobs.
• How to get things free (without stealing).
• How to buy a $5 item at H & M and use it for a shirt, skirt, and head wrap.
• How to cut your own bangs.
• How to take a great headshot, yourself, with your cell phone.
• How to eat on $6.50 a day.
• How to make 101 dishes that involve rice and one other ingredient.

Your duties will include:
• My laundry
• Preparing salads with the proper amount of protein
• Finding unique ways to situate fans in my room so I don’t die of heat stroke in my sleep.
• Using “the Stick” (a massage tool) on my legs and back before I go to bed.
• Cleaning my room
• Buying groceries (with my money of course)
• Going on TP runs when needed
• Keeping an adequate amount of chocolate stocked in the apartment
• Hanging shelves
• Find a way to live in my apartment without being seen

1. I have realized that I have lately begun to put my thoughts in 'Facebook status format.' For example: Melissa wants a personal chef, or a husband. Melissa feels lazy today. Melissa loves avocadoes. Melissa needs a life.

2. A few years ago I was telling someone that I hated New York because you can't make small talk with vendors, store clerks, waiters, barristas, etc. The reason for this is usually A. People get pissed that you are holding up the line or B. The person is not interested in small talk and wants you to move along. The person I was talking to informed me that they had a friend that was gifted at this. That he superhumanly found the time in the atmosphere to do the small talk, the person talked back, and the people in the line behind him remained happy. This makes me happy because that means there is a possibility to be a 'regular' in New York (small talk must happen to be a true regular). The idea of this person has inspired/exhausted me. I have never met him, but I would love to see this in action. I have realized that I try to become a regular everywhere... which is pretty much impossible. If I really like a place, I have to go back- and they have to recognize that I am back- and I would appreciate it as well if they remembered my drink order and then proceeded to tell me how their sick grandma is doing. I like a lot of places. I have realized that I am preoccupied with 'being known.' Not in the way that celebrities are known- but in a community type knowing. Of course every time someone doesn't like me, I console myself with "Well, you know it's only because they don't really know you, you are just being misunderstood." I was trying to figure out why I care if people truly know me, and I came up with that it is because you can rest when someone knows you. You don't have to explain yourself, you can just be and know the other person will get it. I don't have to explain how I want my coffee, why I am sad, or why I am making stupid jokes- the person just knows. My first thought was, oh I can't wait to experience that kind of rest when I am married... what a stupid statement. There is One that truly knows me, more than I even know myself. But I choose to keep explaining myself to Him instead of resting and believing that I am known and loved without explanation or reason. I mean how ridiculous is it to try to convince God that I am a pretty cool girl, and that He should get to know me, or I am not as bad as I seem, or that I had good intentions but it didn't work out? It's pretty illogical, but I am working on it. Rest is hard work.

3. Back to Facebook... I wish they had a little thumbsdown that said 'dislike' that I could click on for other people's statuses... It just doesn't seem to do the trick to say I like it, then unlike it- I don't think it gets the point across.

4. I was working in the box office and a homeless man came up and dumped all of his change on the counter and had exactly enough for a ticket to the show. I found this interesting- even more interesting is that he was there the night before for the same show and did the same thing. He likes the choreographer's work, makes sense. He came, parked his cart, enjoyed the show, talked to the choreographer, and left. This intrigued me- I kept thinking that either this guy has it all figured out, or he is crazy. He spends all his money on a dance show. What does this mean? I really couldn't stop thinking about it for weeks. A few weeks later, I was at a church serving food about 50 blocks away from the box office and I saw him come through the door. I was super excited because I needed to know why dance was so important (stupid, you would think I, of all people, would know the answer to this question). Well, I kinda freaked him out because I remembered his name, but we ended up having a really great conversation. I saw him again last week and he started to tell me a little of his life story- he told me he would tell me more next week. He is a vegetarian, loves to write poetry and he spends most of his time going to movies, plays, dance concerts, etc. for inspiration. I have to be honest, it sounds like a pretty decent living. I am looking forward to more conversations and learn a little bit more about his choices in life and what they mean to him. I feel like I may have a lot to learn from him.

5. Along similar but not lines... I have 19 days to become a minimalist. I am moving to Queens into a smaller space- good news is that the apartment cuts my rent by 40%, but it also cuts the space by that much as well. But I am excited, I have too much stuff and this may finally be the answer to my clutter and messiness problem. Mom, don't worry, but the end of this year I will have cured myself of this problem. So, you and Grandma can stop saying that I will never get married due to my messiness. It may be for another reason, but we can cross this one off our list.

6. I know this is an abomination to the dance form, but I don't like to improv. Well, let me be more specific, I don't like to improv upon request. I will improv all day long in my room but it is not something I really enjoy in the rehearsal space, and even more- I don't like contact improv. I mean, I will do it, I am comfortable doing it, but I don't like it. BUT- today I did. I had fun, and actually enjoyed it. This is monumental. I think I might have even been slightly silly, and smiled- I think I might have even laughed. To be fair, I did have a great and inspiring partner- but I am just astounded by the amount of joy I felt. So, this is progress. (what's funny is that I typed this whole thing with the word 'improve' on accident, it took on a completely different meaning, and made me laugh)